Part 57

Greza dressed in her uniform and straightened herself out in the mirror.  If she was going to be exiled from Verin’s presence, she might as well look her best. 

Once her uniform was perfect she took some oil and a rag and polished her breastplate before strapping it on. 

Lastly, she did her hair in a simple tail. She wanted to look professional, not pretty.  She wasn’t pretty but Verin had been drunk enough to think she was.  She had heard of this phenomenon before but had thought herself immune to it.

Now she was alcohol’s victim.  Verin would never had said those things and forced her to insult him if he had all his faculties. 

What right did she have to refuse him?  How arrogant she must seem.  He probably thought she imagined herself to be better than him. 

Verin, beneath her?  Ridiculous. 

Just remembering him calling her “beautiful” made her feel warm inside, but it wasn’t true because it was the spirits talking and not him.  That put a disharmonious note in last night’s song. 

Drunk or not she felt honored at his attentions.  It was more than honor.  It was hope.  Perhaps one day he could see her as beautiful.  She would never assume that he’d have feelings for her, but just him thinking kindly about her was enough. 

All that might be over though.  She could march into that hall and meet his furious gaze.  She didn’t know if she could take it.

After kneeling down and saying a quick prayer, she brushed her knees off and walked to the Great Hall where Verin held court. 

Her boots were nearly silent on the thick rugs that led to the Hall.  All she could hear was her own breathing that sounded heavier than she would have liked. 

When she came to the open door where two guards stood, she wiped the sweat on her palms off on her pants and walked in.  The generals were gathered around the table eating bread and sausages while arguing over maps.  Verin was, like always, in the middle.  He glanced up briefly at her entrance but went back to his maps.  He didn’t greet her but he didn’t show scorn either. 

Was this good or bad?

She walked to her usual place behind and to the side of Verin. Onata was nowhere to be seen and neither was Alethia.  Alethia kept her own hours and if anyone saw her before noon that was counted as an early day. 

It wasn’t till a half hour later that Onat arrived.  Her uniform was rumbled and her hair was messier than she had ever seen it.  Her eyes were half closed and she looked almost as if she were in pain. 

“Are you alright?” Greza whispered once Onata had taken her place. 

Onata made an unintelligible groan in response and Greza decided to drop it until Onata regained the power of speech. 

There was no one allowed in this room except officers so Greza allowed herself to listen in.  They were discussing troop movements, logistics, where to go next and where the enemy might be. 

Some wanted to split the army and take several weak cities but Verin insisted that they stay together.  His argument was that if they continued as one massive army, the Empire would have to gather several of their provincial armies just to slow them down. 

“It’s almost as if you want them too,” one of the generals said.

“And why not?”  Verin said.  “If we can smash them in one day, wouldn’t that be better for us and the people?  The longer and more spread out this war gets, the worse the common people will suffer.”

“This is a war, of course they’re going to suffer.”

“I’m going to minimize that.” 

“He’s right,” Decaron said.  “If we can draw them out we can end this right then and there.” 

“The longer we wait increases the chance that they’ll learn and start cutting off our supply lines and setting ambushes for us.”

“We’ve already planned for that,” an Elf general said.

“And I’ve already sent an agent to bribe some Imperial commanders to start pushing for a confrontation,” Verin said.

“What?”

“Are you mad?”

“Oh! This should be fun,” Decaron said, clapping his hands. 

They argued more but Verin got them to go along with his plan, at least for now. He listened and reasoned but he didn’t change his opinion. Once the generals were dismissed Verin began rolling up the maps. 

“I thought they’d be angrier about that,” Tempest said as he walked up and patted Verin on the back.

“It wasn’t fiery anger, more a boiling resentment.  I can’t push them too far, Tempest.  They’re already sacrificing enough.”

“And they also know what they stand to gain.  Being a governor of a province isn’t a bad reward for a war.”

“If they get it.  That’s the problem with gambling.”

“You can’t start having doubts now.  Too late for that.”

“Of course not. I never doubt anything…ever.”

Tempest chuckled and shook his head before leaving. 

Verin gathered the maps under his arm and began walking toward the door.  Onata her she began to follow. 

“Just Greza, please.  Onata, you can meet me back here during lunch.”

Greza almost stumbled.  All morning she had dreaded this. He wanted to talk to her alone.  All the reprimands he would throw at her flooded her mind.  She pictured his angry face or worse, a dismissive expression.

Onata didn’t know what occurred last night and she waved with a headache fueled grimace before wondering off. 

She followed Verin in silence as they left the Hall and walked back toward his room.  She tried to walk as silently as she could to not disturb him or draw his notice.  It was foolish and she knew it, but she didn’t know what else to do. All she wanted was to run away. 

Then he stopped walking and she swallowed. 

“About last night…” he started to say. 

This was it. 

“I wanted to apologize for how I behaved,” he said.

What?

“I acted rudely to you.  You deserve better treatment than that.”

“My lord…”

“You must think I’m beast, but I swear that I am not. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“But, my lord, I should apologize.”

“You? For what?  What imagined insult did you think of?”

“My lord, I’m a nobody.  I didn’t want you to think that…”

“Greza, shut up.”

Her mouth snapped closed.

“How can you think so little of yourself that you’d apologize to me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to think that I was better than you.”

It sounded weak as it left her mouth and she knew she must seem ridiculous.

“But you are.”

She struggled for words but nothing came to her lips.

He turned back around and continued walking.

She tried to understand what he had said.  What did he mean when he said she was better than him?  He had to know that that was ludicrous. Was he trying to tell her something that she just wasn’t understanding?

They came to his door and she didn’t know what to do.

“Greza, please forget last night happened.”

“Of course.”

Of course there was no way he would find her attractive.  She knew that.

She smiled and saluted as he closed the door behind him.  

Greza went back to the Great Hall and sat down on one of the benches lining the wall.  Only an occasional servant or messenger would pass by.  Outside she knew the armies were readying to move out.  At dawn they would march towards another battle.

She was a part of the most important event in history in hundreds of years and she was honored to just be a part of it.